the Gloomy Puppet Show
by HeartsXshadow
Summary: Robbie finally expresses what he feels. It's a shame that things never tend to work out the way we plan them. Harsh reality fic, one sided Robbie/Beck. Slash. Robbie-centric.
1. Pining for a Prince

Summary: Robbie finally expresses what he feels. It's a shame that things never tend to work out the way we plan them. Harsh reality fic, one sided Robbie/Beck. Slash. Robbie-centric.

Pairings: (One-sided) Robbie/Beck, Jade/Beck  
>CatRobbie/, Tori/Robbie (Friendship)  
>Warnings: HARSH reality fic. If angst doesn't suit you, you should probably refrain from reading. Moderate violence and language.<p>

Disclaimer: I do not own Nickelodeon's Victorious, nor am I making any profit on this fan-fiction. This is THE ONE AND ONLY disclaimer I'll be posting.

~Enjoy~

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><p>Chapter 1: Pining for a Prince (1)<p>

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><p>Robbie stared blankly at this ceiling. Rex had been thrown haphazardly into a corner, and for once the dummy was in complete silence. The day's events replayed over and over in his mind, but he still couldn't make any sense of it. <em>Why did I say it? <em>He asked himself. _What possessed me to believe that for one second, it was okay to say that? _The reality of everything began to dawn on him, and slowly the numbness was replaced with depression, horror, and most of all, heartbreak. _What did I just do? _He could feel the tears sliding down his pale cheeks. _Why did I tell Beck that I…loved him? _A sob escaped his lips as he finally grasped the fact that his attraction to Beck was not only wrong, but never going to happen. _Why couldn't I just be satisfied with what I had…?_

_/Flashback\\_

_ Robbie sat anxiously in class, lightly drumming his fingers over his desk. His eyes periodically darted to the clock, willing time to pass slower. Tori would look over to him every minute, giving him a reassuring smile, while Rex mumbled cynical things into his chest. He let out a sigh of defeat, realizing that time wouldn't stop for him, and that Tori wouldn't allow him to weasel his way out of this one. From the corner of his eye he could see Jade glowering at him, as if she knew what exactly was going to happen._

_ "Well, she's a witch, and who knows what powers they have?" Rex muttered, but Robbie paid him no attention. After all, the bell was going to ring in a matter of seconds, and he'd be forced to find Beck and tell him..._

_ He ran a hand through his curly hair as he let out a shaky breath. His mouth was dry, his breaths came out in short pants and his palms were sweaty. The bell rang and he inwardly groaned: it was now or never. He glanced at Tori and Cat who eagerly fulfilled their part of the plan by swarming Jade right as the bell rang, laughing and giggling and talking of made up plans from last week to go shopping today. And while Jade was indignant, she could do little to stop the pair of girls from whisking her away. And that would mean that Beck would be free from her, all alone; it would only be he and Robbie. He gulped, as the very thought of him being alone with Beck was a frighteningly ideal situation, too ideal for Robbie's taste, in fact. _

It's too late now. The plan has already sprung into action. _He thought bitterly, stuffing an indignant Rex into his backpack. The last thing he needed in a delicate situation like this was Rex blurting out his secret before he could break it to Beck. He rolled his eyes as Rex yelled out a few more unpleasant curses before zipping his bag up and slinging it over his shoulder. He hesitantly pulled out his phone and located Beck's number, which wasn't so hard considering he only had twenty contacts. His finger paused at the call button; he was losing his resolve. With one final sigh he pressed the button and held the phone to his ear, praying it went to voicemail. _

_ "Hello?"Beck asked casually, with his smooth and sexy voice._

Damn it all to hell! _"Hey Beck! It's Robbie…I was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk with me today?" Robbie asked nervously._

_ "Yeah. Jade is apparently hanging out with Tori and Cat today, so that clears up my schedule." He replied dryly. "Why, is something wrong?"_

_ "…Yeah. You could say that. So, meet at the front of the school?"_

_ "I'll meet you there."_

_ Robbie slowly hung up with phone, cursing every deity he could think of for making Beck such a caring person. _If he was anything like Jade, maybe I wouldn't feel this way._ He thought bitterly, shoving his phone into his pocket. He could just imagine Rex's response to that thought as he slowly made his way to the front of the school, making a quick stop at his locker to put a few books away. He waited in front of his locker for a few moments before a strong hand clasped down on his shoulder. He jumped at the impact and quickly turned around, surprised to find none other than Beck behind him. _

_ "B-beck! I was just about to head up…" He trailed off nervously, biting on his lip._

_ "Well, I was waiting there for a few minutes…so, I figured I should just go ahead and find you. What's up, Rob? Why are you so jumpy?" He smiled Robbie, and that sent the butterflies in his stomach into a chaotic frenzy. _

_ "Ah, I see. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." He kept his gaze lowered, refusing to meet Beck's eyes. His beautiful, flawless eyes. _Focus. _He reminded himself. "And…I was wondering if maybe we could talk in a more…private place? Or, you know, let the school empty out a bit before we discuss my predicament?" _

_ "…Sure. I can wait." He eyed the other teen suspiciously. "It must be pretty important, then?" _

_Robbie nodded in response. "Mm'kay." The pair waited in silence as the students raced out the school, and once again Robbie wished time would just slow down or come to a complete halt. He bounced on his toes as the last few kids walked out of the school, leaving them alone. He glanced up at Beck and found that the taller teen was staring at him intently._

_ "Wh-what?"_

_ "…That was the last of 'em. So, you gonna tell me? Or do we need to spend the next three hours together in awkward silence?" He joked. Robbie let out a laugh. If there was one thing he appreciated, it was Beck's humor. "Where's Rex?"_

_ Robbie stared up and shrugged. "I put him in my bag…I figured now wasn't the time for him to be up."_

_ At once Beck straightened up, and any trace of humor was gone. "So, this is serious…" He looked at Robbie expectantly. "What's wrong? Come on, you know you can tell me anything, Rob."_

_ Robbie hated it when Beck called him 'Rob': it made him feel special, as only Beck called him that. He sighed gulped back his fears. He could feel his heart pumping in his throat, making breathing difficult. He closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths. _It's now or never. _He reminded himself._

_ "You see Beck…I really like someone-"  
>Beck let out a sigh of relief. "Shit, Robbie, you made me think you were dying of cancer. So, who's the girl? Cat? Tori?" There was still an underlying tone of concern in his voice that Robbie caught—maybe it was still from his initial thought?<em>

_ "And you see, Beck…That's where the problem is. I don't like Cat or Tori, or even Jade." Robbie could see the confusion in Beck's stare. Robbie was sure that he knew where this was going now. "I'm not crushing on the Northridge girls either." His pulse was picking up; he was so close. _It's now or never. _"I…well, Beck…I like you." As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. The look of pure shock crossed Beck's features, followed by a gasp somewhere off to his left. His head quickly snapped up and gasped himself. Not five feet away from the pair was Jade, her eyes narrowed into slits. He could see Cat and Tori behind the gothic girl, both with apologetic stares. _

_ Before Jade could hiss out any insults, before Cat or Tori could apologize for being unable to keep Jade away, and before Beck could even respond, Robbie ran out the school. Forgotten was his car in the parking lot as he ran to through a group of girls, down the street through a few red lights. He didn't stop until he got home, shakily pulling out his key and opening his door, finally collapsing onto the tiled floor of his kitchen, glad that both of his parents were working. He could still vividly see the look Beck had given him, and all he could think of was that he had gone with never._

_/End Flashback\\_

He rolled over and grabbed his cell phone off of his dresser, finally having enough courage to check his phone. He grimaced when he saw the amount of messages. _Twenty text messages…fourteen missed calls, and fourteen voice mails. _He opened the texts, quickly skimming the 'I'm sorry's' from Cat and Tori, and deleting the messages that were from a number he didn't recognize. Considering the number of those, he figured it was from Jade—after all, he didn't have her number. The calls and voicemails reflected the texts (unfortunately, even the Jade texts), except for one; the one he had been dreading most.

He put the phone close to his ear as Beck's voice uncertainly began to speak. _"Hey, um Robbie…I—let's just not…let's just not talk anymore, okay? Sorry, but—bye." _He didn't realize he had dropped the phone until he heard it clatter on his floor, sending his battery off to God knew where. But none of that mattered to him. He had lost Beck…and though he said that this would happen if he told Beck how he felt, he didn't truly expect it to. _Beck isn't going to be here for me_. _He's out of my life now..._

He could feel the tears slide down his cheeks and onto his bed. He could hear the uneven breaths he let out as he tried to control his tears. But nothing compared to the overwhelming depression that consumed his soul, for he had lost his friendship with Beck because he had gone off on a pathetic hope that the boy who held his affection would feel the same. He was just as foolish as the mermaid from that stupid story (2) he read all those years ago.

And it was all because he had hoped.

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><p>References:<p>

1.) The chapter titles of this fic will refer to Fairy Tales, and have a direct mention of said fairy tale in it. This brings me to  
>2.) The story is obviously <em>Hans Christian Andersen's the Little Mermaid.<em> I just thought it would be a nice mention in this story. To start with the most depressing of tales, and slowly make my way up to a sort-of-happily ever after.

Well, there you have it: A bad start to a sad fic. Don't worry; teen angst can only last so long, right? Oh, and I have a gamble with my friend. If you can't guess…well, Robbie reflects me, and Beck reflects my love interest. So, if I get over 40 reviews by the end of my story, I'll pull a Robbie and finally tell him.

Leave a review (or not); but I do love feedback.


	2. Eternal Slumber

I reread Chapter 1, and I've noticed a few grammatical errors (mostly because of carelessness), so PLEASE let me know if there are any errors in this chapter and I'll fix them. Warnings, summary and disclaimer are all in Chapter 1. So, here we go:

Chapter 2: Eternal Slumber

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><p>Robbie kept his head buried in his pillow. He hadn't bothered to put his phone back together; however, he had located the battery and kept it stacked neatly on top of the phone. He ignored his mother's constant nagging as she knocked on his door worriedly.<p>

"Robbie, your dinner's getting cold." She called uncertainly.

"I'm not hungry." Was his muffled response.

His mother let out a frustrated sigh. "Well, I thought you might want to be a hospitable host; Tori's here." At the mention of his friend's name he groaned and raised his head slowly.

"Just send her up." He croaked. He heard his mother cluck her tongue, but she complied.  
>"Alright, Robbie."<br>He only had to wait a few seconds before he heard the quick steps of Tori. Indeed, moments later she barreled through the door, worry plastered all over her face.

"Robbie." She breathed a sigh of relief. "When you weren't answering our calls, I got worried, and—I'm just so sorry. If I didn't pressure you to do this, then none of it would happen, and—"

"I don't blame you for it, Tori. Or Cat, for that matter. I mean, even I knew I was taking a pretty big gamble by doing this." He replied dejectedly.

"Yeah, but if I wasn't so insistent, Robbie, then maybe…then maybe…" Tori could feel the tears were about to begin. "Maybe none of this would have happened." She slowly walked over to his bed, and sat down. "Is there anything I can do…?"  
>Robbie was silent for a few moments, both his and Tori's uneven breathing the only noise in the room. The, hesitantly, he replied. "Right now…Tori, right now I think I just need to be alone." He could see the pained look in her eyes as he told her, and instantly he felt regret. "I just want to…sleep."<p>

She opened her mouth, as if to dissuade him; instead, she lowered her gaze and said: "Alright. But…you can't just sleep away your problems, Robbie. Even Sleeping Beauty, while in her slumber, was raped."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "I don't recall Disney ever touching on such a subject." He replied softly.

"You're right; they didn't. But life isn't a Disney movie, Robbie." She said just as softly. She leaned towards his head and placed a kiss on his cheek. "When you're ready to talk, Robbie, you know that Cat and I will be there." She hesitantly got up from her position on his bed and walked out of his room. She paused at the door, resting her hand on the frame. "Just don't take a hundred years." She smiled sadly at him before continuing out the door.

Her words echoed in Robbie's mind. He knew that her words were well meaning, and true. But he wasn't ready to face the world. _I'd prefer to sleep, where I have some control of what goes on. _He closed his eyes, feeling the grief constrict around his heart. He could feel the tears building up behind his closed eyes, and didn't bother wiping them off as they slid down his face. Instead, he concentrated on sleeping, where images of Beck plagued his mind.

***  
>The sun shone through his curtains, signaling the arrival of morning. <em>Of course the sun would be fucking shining on the day after my life went straight to hell. <em>He groaned as he pushed himself off of his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He sat there wrapped in a tangle of his sheets and blanket, wondering if he should even bother to go to school. _By now, I imagine Jade has told the whole school of what happened. _With another groan he fell back down on to his pillow. _And I left my car there yesterday, didn't I? _He laid in silence for another few minutes before deciding to face his fears. _I can't sleep away all of my problems…I should tackle my problems. _But he couldn't bring himself to move. _Mom and dad already left for work, and they don't get home until six…they won't know I missed school. Besides, it'll only be one day. _He closed his eyes. _I need to sleep…_

_"Robbie, you know that I've always liked you." He ran a hand through Robbie's hair, making him shudder. "You're the one I've been waiting for all my life."_

_ He hesitantly looked up into Beck's eyes. "Do you mean that?" He asked, while slowly leaning up to Beck's face. He was surprised when Beck's lips met his own halfway. It was pure bliss, to finally have what he desired. He felt Beck smile against his lips, and slowly he pulled away. "Why are you smiling?"_

_ "Because. I find it so hilarious-" He began to morph, until he became Jade. "-That you could ever believe my Beck would love you." The real Beck appeared behind her, and draped an arm around her shoulders._

_ "Yeah, Rob. That was just stupid." He placed a kiss on his girlfriend's lips. "No one would ever love you." Slowly, he found himself surrounded by his friends: Tori, Cat, Andre, and even Trina, Sinjin and Sikowitz. _

_ "Come on, Robbie. You know that Cat and I only did this to humiliate you!" Tori laughed, and Cat nodded vigorously. _

_ "I knew you were a freak…but I didn't know you were a fag!" Trina cackled. The insults continued, even as he curled up in a ball in the center of their vicious attacks._

_**/\\**_

He woke with a start, crying. Realizing it was a dream, he laid back down, doing his best to calm his heart. _Stop it. It's just a dream. _

From then on, his dreams were always similar to his first one, and had grown used to it. _I guess I can't escape reality.  
>**\\** _

It had been a week since he bothered to go to school. He spent most of his time sleeping, and intercepting phone calls from the school that informed his parents of his absence. He hadn't bothered to charge his phone or log into his computer to check for messages. He rarely ate, and lost weight because of it. Despite his constant sleeping, dark purple bags had formed under his eyes, making a startling contrast to his pale skin _I wonder if Beck would notice the change? _He cringed at the thought, and a sharp pang pierced his heart. _Beck. _

His eyes widened as his door swung open, revealing an irritable Tori. Her eyes were narrowed and he fists we clenched on either side of her. She slammed the door behind her as she made her way over to him.

"Tori-"

"What the hell, Robbie?" She yelled. "You've been gone a whole week from school! Do you know how worried we were? You've been ignoring my calls and texts, messages and tweets. So, I finally gathered the courage to visit you at home, and this is what I find? That you're just withering away into nothing?"

"Keep your voice down, my parents are home." He said quietly.

"No, Robbie, they're not. They're at work. I'm supposed to be at school, but instead I ditched to make sure you were okay. And here you are, perfectly fine."

He let out a bitter laugh. "Perfectly fine, Tori? I'm shit. I haven't been eating, my dreams have been centered around the source of my depression, and you think I'm perfectly fine?" He laughed again. "I hate to break it to you, but I'm everything except perfectly fine."

"You really think so, Robbie?" She glared at the boy. "You are perfectly fine. You're not sick. You're making yourself sick. You chose to stay in your room, locked away from everyone that's trying to help you. You're the one who, by the looks of it, is refusing to eat. You are the source of your misery, Robbie. Not Beck. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you can fix yourself."

He glared back at her, refusing to see the truth in her words. "You don't know what it's like, Tori, to love someone who could never feel the same for you."

"Oh, I don't?" She asked coldly. He realized the mistake he had made, but he wasn't about to back down. "Whatever, Robbie. If you really think that no one understands you, that you're the only person in the world who has had their heart broken by unrequited love…I pity you. I really do. When you stop feeling sorry for yourself…I'll be waiting to help you."

"It's not that easy, Tori. To just forget everything that happened, or pretend that it didn't happen at all." He said.

"I don't expect you to. But I do expect more than this. Maybe an actual effort on your part?" She raised an eyebrow before leaving the room, leaving him alone and frustrated.

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><p>Well, there's chapter two. School is starting up again, so writing won't be easy to squeeze in (BUT I WILL!). So, expect irregular updates. Reviews are nice!<p> 


	3. The Poisoned Apple

Hello everyone! I'm sorry for not updating sooner; college has been a hassle as of late, and I can't find time to update as frequently as I'd like…please, forgive me. Updates will be taking much longer than usual, so bear with me!

Anyway, here's chapter three:

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><p>Chapter 3: A Poisoned Apple<p>

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><p>His dreams were a constant torment to him. They were far too vivid for his taste, and he would often find himself suddenly awake covered in a sheer of sweat. He groaned as his head hit the pillow once again, cursing every deity he could think of for his angst. After Tori's outburst, he decided to test the waters with his internet connections, and he wasn't pleased with the results. He hadn't had very many friends on any site, but half seemed to disappear—Beck included.<em> If only…Beck, why don't you love me? Why aren't you even my friend anymore? <em>Aside from that one, horrid, voicemail, Beck hadn't bothered to get in contact with him. In fact, the deleted all sources of contact with him, un-following and de-friending him on various sites. Of course, all this had done was spur him into even more of a depression.

Tori's words still echoed through his mind, almost as much as Beck's rejection. She had made him feel ashamed of himself that was true. But still, he could force himself to get out of bed and to school just yet. _This…this should be my last day, hidden from the world. I really should get out, and back to school. Tori's right. I can't sleep my problems away. _But every so often, his mind would drift back to the idea of an eternal sleep, where nothing could hurt him, where he wouldn't be aware of the all consuming pain that had become his existence. And when that happened, he was careful to note the exact location of the bottle of pain killers that sat on his drawer, or the knife that rested under his mattress.

_I wonder…would anyone miss me?  
>*** <em>

True to his word, the next day he surprised his parents by showing up for breakfast. He was perfectly groomed, but noticeably thinner, and a few shades lighter as well. He didn't bother with conversation, nor did his parents push for an explanation. A silence blanketed the table as each poked their cereal unenthusiastically. Occasionally his mother would look up and try to start a conversation, but with the lack of interest in both men caused her to stop. After twenty tense minutes, both of his parents got up for work, and muttered a quick goodbye before they were off.

_I wonder what school's going to be like. _He though sadly. _I wonder if Cat and Tori hate me, for waiting this long to show face…_ He hadn't heard from either girl in a long time. _They have every right to hate me for blowing things out of proportion, I guess. _He sighed as he picked up his uneaten cereal and poured it in the sink. Shrugging his bag over his shoulder, he grabbed his keys and headed out the door. He was surprised to find his car parked outside. _I left it at school...right? Did Tori bring it home for me? _He bit his lip as he slid in the driver's door; his hands positioned and ready to go. _Am I really ready for this?  
><em>Shaking his head, he started the car and drove off. _It's too late, anyway._

Robbie sat in the parking lot, head pressed against the wheel. _I can't do this. _A group of girls had already swarmed him when he got to school, jeering at him. Their hurtful words cut deep into his soul; his very core was shaken. Cat had driven them off and was sitting beside him in the passenger seat, rubbing his back in a circular motion and soothing him with quiet words. _I knew I shouldn't have come back…_

"Robbie…those girls don't know anything. Nothing's wrong with loving someone." She whispered. "I want you to know that."  
>"It's wrong when you're a boy…loving another boy." He choked out, tears streaming down his face.<p>

"Robbie—please." Cat began to cry with him. "I know it's bad now. But if you go home, you'll be proving them right. Get through today, and tomorrow will be infinitely better. Don't…don't let them break you." The two stayed together, huddled in his old car, until the bell rang. She gave him a firm pat on the back and a small kiss on the cheek before she hurried off to class. "If anything happens, call me."

He nodded mutely, slowly dragging himself out of the car. _Tomorrow will be infinitely better. _The words rang through his mind, and he began to repeat them to himself. _It's like a mantra…_He mused, walking to class. _Just get through today. _

***  
><em>This is the worst day in my life. <em>He slowly grabbed a few textbooks out of his locker, ignoring the relentless teases the jocks were throwing at him.

"Hey, _fag, _we were talking to you!" One of the more muscular guys grabbed Robbie by his shirt, and then slammed him against the lockers.

"Watch out, he might like it rough!" Another one called, laughing.

"Well, do you?" The other sneered, looking at him with contempt. "You're fucking disgusting. Don't you know God hates your kind?" Robbie had been doing his best to hold his tears, but the last comment got him. "Aww, crying faggot? That won't do any good." He raised his arm, ready to punch Robbie's face.

"Put him down."

Robbie's head snapped in the direction of the voice. He couldn't believe who was helping him. _Beck…?_

"Why should we, pretty boy?" The one holding Robbie asked. "Wait…aren't you the one he likes? Stickin' up for your lover?"  
>"How cute." The other laughed maliciously.<p>

"Not even close." Beck replied sharply; his words pierced Robbie's heart. "I just don't think you guys should waste your time on him. You'll get kicked off the football team if you hurt him."

"…I guess you have a point." The large teen dropped Robbie to the floor. "Just stay outta our way, queer."

"And we better not catch you in the bathroom when we're in there. We don't want you to peak." The two bullies laughed as they went off on their way. Robbie hesitantly up at Beck, unsure of what he should do.

"Than-"

"If I were you, I'd look into transferring schools." He said curtly. "Don't…don't expect me to help again." With that, Beck left Robbie on the cold tiled floor.

_Beck…_He picked himself up. _You do hate me. _He figured as much, what with the lack of contact. But still, to have Beck treat him like that—he just couldn't understand. In all honestly, Robbie would have preferred it if Beck hadn't bothered to interfere. _It was cruel of him to get my hopes up like that…_He could feel the tears as they slowly made their tracks down his face. _Is it really so wrong to love him?_

He could barely register the sound of the bell ringing, watching the students pile out of the classes and into the hallway absent mindedly. He saw Tori open her mouth as she approached him, but no sound reached his ears. The color seemed to dull and fade before his eyes. He robotically pushed past the girl, walking towards the entrance of the school. Robbie slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his key, sliding it into the ignition. The ride back to his house seemed to be in slow motion, and yet he couldn't remember anything of it.

The only thing he could think of was his life…and how he couldn't live without Beck in it.  
>***<p>

When he was younger, Robbie had found himself fascinated with the concept of a death that could be reversed by a single kiss—True Love's _first_ kiss. He could vividly recall the first time he watched _Snow White_, and while all the other kids cried when she bit the apple and died…well, he didn't; and that was because he was already familiar with the tale. And so because of that fascination, he had been saving his first kiss, just in case he needed it. _I don't think that will do much good now._

He grimaced at the powerful poison he managed to make with his everyday household items. _The government really should monitor what chemicals people can get their hands on…_He didn't like the idea of suicide. Really, he didn't. _But if this is what my life is gonna be like from here on out, there's just no point. _Robbie wasn't like Beck who was strong and independent; he was weak and needed a support. He just wasn't cut out to handle extreme bullying, or a rejection to this extent. _Will he miss me?_

He didn't want to think about it. Instead, he ladled his concoction into a cup, staring at the substance. _It must taste awful. Will death hurt? _And as he slowly raised the glass to his lips, a sudden gasp caught his attention. Before he could even get a good look at whoever interrupted him, his face was met with a hard slap. The impact made him drop the glass, effectively shattering it and spilling its content all over the floor. After the initial shock of being hit wore off, he turned, and was surprised to see two very upset girls.

"Robbie, what the hell were you thinking?" Tori admonished, gesturing to the chemicals that decorated the table. "Were you—no, please don't tell me—no!" She was breathing heavily, tears threatening to spill.

"Robbie…" Cat said softly, her voice trembling. "You know that-you know that this wouldn't…wouldn't solve anything." The girl buried her face in her hands, sobs escaping her lips and shaking her frame. "Robbie, how could you?"  
>"We know life isn't ideal right now, but suicide? How could you even think of doing that?"<p>

Robbie was speechless. He looked at the girls; he truly looked at them for the first time since Beck had rejected him. And to be honest, they didn't look like they were in any better condition than he was. Cat looked thinner, while Tori had dark bags under her eyes. _Were they really that worried about me? Is this taking a toll on them, too? _He looked to his failed suicide, and immediately felt ashamed of his actions. _Am I really that selfish…?_ He turned his gaze back to the pair, and with great difficulty apologized. "I'm sorry. I—I don't know what I was thinking." He hadn't realized he was crying. _When did I start? Or did I never stop? _"It's just—the bullying, being ignored by—by Beck—I just couldn't take it. And I thought that maybe…maybe everyone would be better off."

"Don't you ever say that again." Tori replied quickly. "I don't even want that thought crossing your mind again."

"Robbie…things are bad right now. We know." She let out a sad laugh. "And I know I told you this earlier today… But you can't give up. I can't promise that it'll get better right away. It won't. But eventually, all of this will blow over. And for you to take your life before it could…it just wouldn't be fair." Cat added slowly, tears still streaming down her face. "Please…promise us that you won't-"

"Promise." He interjected quickly. And before they knew it, they were huddled together on the cold tiled floor, crying softly and doing their best to consol one another.

_I may not have Beck…but, I still have Tori and Cat. And maybe…maybe that's all I need._

* * *

><p>Okay, I'm not entirely thrilled with the way this chapter turned out…but, he's finally making progress. Now it's time for recovery. Also, I'd like everyone to know that suicide isn't the answer, ever. I'm not trying to make light of the situation by writing about it, and I hope I didn't offend anyone. But people do take their own lives because of bullyingrejection or breakups, my own friend took his life two years ago because of a break up. So, please think twice before saying offensive to anyone. And remember that showing a little compassion or kindness can save a life.

And though I don't deserve it, feedback would be nice.


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